It just occurred to me a minute ago that “Holy crap it’s almost May.” Which is about when I need to be seriously thinking about moving. Ideally out of Savannah, because other than my job, there’s not much for me.
Most ideal would be Portland, but that is across the country and not something I’m…
This is my good friend and a former roommate. Never had a problem, paid bills and rent on time, quiet and responsible. If you or ANYONE could help her out you would be SUCH a bro! <3
Hey Lochi! I just found your art through the DD section on deviantART and I just want to say that I LOVE your art so much. I'm sorry for the anon status. I get really nervous and embarrassed. I really like your explicit stuff here on your tumblr and I just love the way that you draw women. I was just wondering how you got so good! Do you have any tips or hints on how to become a better artist? How to get better at anatomy and concept? Sorry for stupid questions! I just love really love your art!
Aww! Thank you so much, Anon! Your ask is so kind. No need to be shy! 8D
As for your questions, they’re not stupid! They’re just hard ones. Its so hard to think back and come to a clear conclusion of how I got here. I just I just kept drawing! I think my greatest drive were my inspirations! Various artists from dA and other art communities. Hamletmachine has always been one! Coey, Shysuiko and similar artists. For years even back into highschool, their art was driving me forward.
I think I asked a lot of the same questions once to someone back when I was just a wee babe in highschool. A huge massive inspiration to me, Missvv was selling a beautiful book that was a compilation of her sketches which is probably the most worn out art books that I own. I bought and I excitedly went and found her and I looked STUPID and ridiculous and hilarious and she was still so sweet and incredible. And I asked her “How do you have such GREAT anatomy. I want to DO that?” And her advice to me was “Watch porn and draw poses from it.” Hilarious and extremely useful advice. But…I dunno! I just…I just kept drawing! Went to art school and let them tear me a new one and have just kept going from there! I hope this helps anon! I’m so honored by your ask! I appreciate it so much, thank you!
Would you ever consider moving to Canada for school or citizenship? I had many many complex and expensive tests for a rare disease and a surgery (that I stayed in the hospital for 5 days in a private room) that cost me $60. Tuition at my art school costs about $6000 a year (less with scholarships). And some provinces have perks, I know if you stay in Quebec for more than 12 months, you can apply as resident and get even lower tuition rates.
Noooo, I would be too far from my family and friends. And I’m already going to school and I’ve nearly finished with my degree. Its very expensive but I’ve been working on an extensive network of people and potential employers that I really can’t pass up. Its hard to find a good school that I can GET INTO that offers animation as a field of study, and even harder to find on that allows you to transfer credits. It would be so much more expensive moving to another country than it would for me to get some decent health care.
I think its a little odd that every time you're offering commissions its always for something "urgent." You know, my girlfriend has PCOS and she doesn't make this big of a deal about it. And she says that there is no real treatment but diet and exercise. I think that you might be making a bigger deal than you should be about this. Convincing people that you're dying must be easy money.
It is odd that I seem to have so much urgency in my life as compared to yours, yes.
First of all, I sincerely hope that you are a female considering that you have a girlfriend and you’re going to be talking to me about my vagina and what it feels like to have a reproductive disease. I sincerely, sincerely hope that you are. If you happen to be a man then your opinion is absolutely 100% invalid.
Second of all, your girlfriend is likely lucky enough to have insurance if she finds her condition so manageable. You’re right. The best common treatment for PCOS is not only a regiment of birth control but also a healthy lifestyle. Due to insulin resistance and an excess build up glucose , people with PCOS are more likely to develop diabetes. If you are more than 50 lbs over weight as I am as I have gone a rough 10 years without diagnoses then you are 10 times more likely than others with PCOS to develop what is called Endometrial Cancer and already probably pre-diabetic. This is NOT to speak of the lifestyle of those with PCOS. I go to the gym, I walk EVERYWHERE. I do not ever use a car. I eat leafy green food with a healthy dose of veggies as well as balanced diet of meats and grains and sometimes protein drinks. I have great blood pressure and low cholesterol. I am STILL overweight and I may STILL be pre-diabetic. These are things that I will not know until I find a doctor that will see me. I will not find one of those until I have insurance.
Three, how dare you compare me to others. Every woman’s body ,though in gender we are the same, can be VASTLY different from another’s. Ask your girlfriend what it is like having un-sedated birthing contractions. Ask your girlfriend what it is like giving birth to a blood clot the size of a softball in a toilet because you don’t have the money or means of getting to the doctor and calling an ambulance would financially ruin you. Ask your girlfriend how humiliating it is to splash puddles of blood onto the floor of your kitchen, your school bathroom, your bathtub.
Ask your girlfriend how frightened she was to be told that she is vulnerable to cancer and need testing to make sure she doesn’t already have it or that she might have diabetes, a life long and incurable, expensive disease, over the phone by someone who is literally telling her they’ve done all they can.
Obviously, because we are the same person and we suffer from the same thing and experience the same exact situations and hardships these will be easy for her to answer.
No one has to give me money. No one even has to commission me. But I’m not going to sit around because I’m afraid that someone’s boyfriend might think I’m playing it up for cash. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that I am NOT dying whether you are convinced or not.
Its so easy to lose hope in people. I swear this government is trying to kill us, slowly letting us die like we’re nothing because we can’t quite play the game like “they” can. Doctors sometimes seem useless compared to nurses and Politicians really truly are NOTHING compared to people. I have never once lost my faith in people not even at the toughest most hopeless and scariest times in my life. People are inherently good. And those at the “bottom of the food chain” understand that there really isn’t a food chain at all. It has ALWAYS been that a small percent of people genuinly believe that is alright to eat each other and that the other and more massive whole is simply disgusted and horrified because it is unfathomable to us. It shouldn’t have to cost me or anyone else SO much money to get tested for life altering diseases. Its hard. Its really scary. And a select few people MADE it that way. But still I can’t say I’ll ever lose faith.
You guys, my friends, strangers and people that I maybe just talk to once in a blue moon have been so incredibly and unthinkably kind to me today. Your support and understanding and intense generosity astounds the hell out of me and I really don’t know where to find the exact right words to say or how in the world I’m ever going to pay this forward. Thank you very, very much to those who have expressed interest in commissions and those of you who wouldn’t even hear of it. Thank you for the reblogs and the encouraging messages and asks. Thank you for your concern. I am incredibly touched. I can’t even begin to describe. I’m halfway to being able to apply for my insurance so that I can get true treatment and tests. Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart. You are all amazing good and true people. I’m really sorry that this is SOOOO sappy. I just don’t know what to say. I feel like saying EVERYTHING. Thank you so much. ;__;
"C" is for Cancer, "D" is for Diabetes, "I" is for I don't know what to do.
My health has always been less than good. And I always put it off and put it off and do things like pay bills, take my cat to the vet (more important to me regardless) and rent and all that crap. And while I had insurance I never went for checkups because I was afraid of bad news. I was also raised in a household where my parents were majorly convinced that most people were hypochondriacs and pill poppers and the a majority of clinic goers could take an aspirin and walk it off. My mom broke her arm once and refused to go to the doctor because she insisted that it was a pulled muscle. I never went to the doctor for truly sprained ankles because if I wasn’t “dead, dying or bleeding” then I was fine. So doctors became untrustworthy money grubbing assholes who would diagnose and prescribe anything just to make a buck and serious illnesses like pneumonia and 102 fevers could be overcome with a sick day and soup.
And I didn’t mind living that way. Because I have believed that if I didn’t know what was wrong with me and I felt fine then obviously it was true. Well, I suppose its caught up to me. I don’t have insurance anymore. I go to school and it costs me 10,000 every three months just to do that. This is on top of rent, bills, pet expenses and basic necessities. If you’ve got a TMI complex about medical conditions then now would probably be a good time for you to stop reason. So, I don’t go to the doctor. I waste what health care coverage I have because I don’t believe there is anything wrong with me. I have always known that I have had an abnormal menstrual period. Every since day one. And I used to have horrible dreams about it being because I have cancer or something horrible like that. And over the years despite my physical activeness, mostly healthy eating habits, incredible blood pressure and cholesterol I have gained and gained and gained weight. NOTHING I do or have ever done was effective.
So last month, after laying on the bathroom floor at my best friend’s parent’s house in a fit of extremely painful and debilitating contractions I finally attempted going to the doctor. The only place that would see me without robbing me blind or refusing me service was Planned Parenthood. They bent all sorts of rules and saw me despite my non-sexual activity and the nurses there determined that I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). This was the reason for my contractions which I would not find out until a month later was in response to a massive build of endometrial lining. This is a treatable condition. But it is very expensive to get officially diagnosed. After thousands of dollars in testing, despite it being something a doctor could probably diagnose with their eyes shut, then they will treat you. So I’ve been taking birth control to counterbalance a hormonal imbalance. This does not correct my insulin resistance or obesity due to glucose deficiency. Its a bandaid treatment. And I thought it was working. The pain stopped for a little while. Until it was time to have my period again.
The pain came back with a vengeance only this time I was leaving huge puddles of blood on the floor just from crossing the room and I was going through two to three full overnight pads an hour. Upon emergency visit to PP and an emergency exam they tell me its normal in patients with PCOS to bleed so heavily. Also that I have had become anemic over night and might suffer from mild symptoms of iron deficiency. As they left the room I read a chart on the wall about blood clots due to birth control and how to tell. I wasn’t even aware that I was experiencing these as symptoms. Quickly, I brought it up with my nurse and she gave me an uncertain answer and told me that I was probably fine and the pain in my leg was probably just cramping. She then immediately switched my birth control to something else. I researched later to find that getting tested for blood clots is also rather expensive. They know I do not have insurance. So they send me home and say, take a shit ton of birth control. You’ll stop bleeding in two days and the pain will go away.
It has over been a week. I am still spotting. I still experience mild to extremely irritating cramping despite being nowhere near my period. And the birth control is no longer treating my symptoms of PCOS. It has only been a month and a half. I called Planned parenthood and they didn’t have any good news for me. They said “We can’t do a cancer screening.” Of course I wasn’t expecting them to use the word Cancer. This was not a problem that I thought I would have. However, excessive building up of the endometrium in the uterus is actually a bad thing. It causes Endo Cancer. I did not know this. I haven’t been shedding for 7 years. They then added “You may need extensive testing for diabetes. We advise that you go to a clinic or hospital that is better equipped but we will do everything in our power to make things easier for you.”
They then gave me a list of gynos in the area. I called these places. Every single one of them turned me down for fear of non-payment. The hospital refused to see me without a reference. I am desperate. I am worried. I am at the end of my rope. A couple friends of mine found me a potential solution two my health insurance problem. However it is a 650 dollar application that I don’t have the money for and I would not start seeing coverage until May. Being told that there is a possibility that you have Cancer or Diabetes doesn’t exactly make you want to wait four months.
I don’t like opening commissions on top of pre-existing commissions. I also don’t like cancer or diabetes. So I am offering commissions toward me…going to the doctor. Or applying for health insurance. Or something. Just SOMETHING that doesn’t make me feel like I’m doing nothing.
Is anyone looking for a room to stay in at Katsucon?
I was going to go this month. But I have very recently (in the last couple of days) become emergency ill and have to go to the doctor today and probably get MORE medication that I can’t afford. So there’s goes all my money for that con I was gonna go to.
I unfortunately have to bail on a good friend of mine and would like to see if I can find one or two people to take up space in her room. She’s the sweetest person in the world and dropped everything to take me to the doctor last month when I really needed it and I feel horrible abandoning her. I’d really like to find someone to fill the spot.
So if you wanted to go to Katsucon and haven’t been able to find a room, send me a private message and I will get you in touch with my incredible friend.